She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
