eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
