I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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