got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize