Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize