We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
