Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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