if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
