No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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