overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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