is your mom at the bar?
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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