just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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