this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
