I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
