You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
