she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
