her vagine was all disorganized.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
