I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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