Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
