come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
