There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
