is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
