no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
