I'm eating all of the evidence.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
