Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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