You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
