All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
