You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
