I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
