Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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