Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
