so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
