Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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