He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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