i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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