honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
