if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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