You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize