I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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