he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
