I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
