Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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