So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
