i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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