So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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