butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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