i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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