garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
