That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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