I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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