i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
well you can't waste a boner
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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