i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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