it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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