You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
