Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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