he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Randomize
