Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
