but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
