Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
