I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize