We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
