So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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