i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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