She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize