i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
