He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
