Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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