it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize